Writing Prompt 74: Under Cover
Show, don't tell.
I've read this so many times. And many times I've wondered about it, pondered about it, tried to get to grips with it, tried to understand exactly what these tiny three words mean. It’s a phrase that seems so cryptic. To me anyway.
Looking back at some of my own writing, I try to analyse it and work out if I’m showing or telling. Here's a short piece from Writing Prompt 10:
Amy turned to the side, slipping past a variety of knees to find her seat in the middle of the row.
Soda bubbled up the hole where the straw was seated in her cup and swirled around the gutter of the plastic lid. Pieces of popcorn escaped from the top of the large container she was carrying, leaving a trail behind her on the floor. She found her seat and sat down, balancing her food and beverage items in one hand and the crook of her arm as she flipped down the seat with the other.
She placed her drink in the holder of the armrest and the container of popcorn on the floor before wriggling off her jacket and tucking it around her waist. Her scarf had tightened around her neck. She pulled it away and let it pile on her lap. As she did, her foot stretched out and caught the box of popcorn tipping it over and spilling half its contents on the sticky, rough carpet.
I know. It's a fine literary work.
I think I'm right that this piece of writing is 'showing'. You, the reader, can imagine yourself sitting in another row watching Amy attempt to find her way to her seat, trying not to take up space, trying not to spill her drink, unable to contain the towering pile of popcorn which with every step will drop more onto the floor. We've all been there.
There is a bit of telling: I tell you that Amy’s seat is in the middle of the row, that her scarf has tightened around her neck and that the floor is a sticky, rough carpet.
Let's look a little deeper at all of this.
Whenever I'm confused by anything to do with creative writing I turn to Alice LaPlante's mighty tome "The Making of a Story". It isn't a book you'd want to sit down and start from page one — it's 677 pages long. How I've found it most helpful is by consulting it like an encyclopedia for all things writing.
I look up Show, Don't Tell and find Chapter Five: Why You Need to Show and Tell.
Hang on — Show And Tell?
LaPlante advises us that 'show, don't tell' might be misleading. She gives us many examples of novels and short stories that use both with great skill. This showing and telling exists on a continuum. You might write with more telling and less showing than your friend who might use more showing and less telling.
Confused? Let's look at LaPlante's basic definitions:
What is Showing?
"In literature, "showing" is also referred to as dramatizing. If something is shown, or dramatized, the reader is allowed to be an eyewitness (of sorts) to the events of the story, novel, or essay through the use of dialogue (what characters say) and action (what characters do or have done to them)." 1
Showing could be anything you might witness in the real world or as LaPlante tells us 'the reader is presented with concrete evidence of what's happening.' This could be through dialogue, actions and reactions, or objective descriptions — things that you might see if a situation were to be photographed ie, evidence.
What is Telling?
"Also referred to as summary or narration, writers tell to directly communicate or describe to the reader what is happening in a creative work...you can describe the setting (it was a dark and stormy night); you can describe the characters (she had a face as broad and as innocent as a cabbage); and you can even tell the plot by summarizing what happens at a particular point in the story...(she told him she'd had enough, and that she was leaving for Peoria on the morning train)."2
So if showing needs concrete evidence then telling is everything else: history, background information for clarity, specific thoughts or emotions of characters, moving the 'clock' i.e flashbacks or flashforwards.
LaPlante argues that good writing needs both, that showing is not necessarily better than telling. Each can complement the other to give the reader a better experience.
Here's some more from LaPlante:
So why do so many well-meaning — and competent! — creative writing instructors use "show not tell" as their mantra?
Because good telling is difficult to do.
…It's a relatively straightforward thing to be concrete when showing, or dramatizing something; after all, the characters are either there, or they aren't. They are sitting on chairs, or they are standing on the deck of a boat. They are speaking words, or they are silent...
Telling, however, is where the temptation to generalize or go abstract is strongest. It's my guess that when creative writing professors urge in their classes to show not tell, they are really trying to urge students to be more concrete and specific. They see student writing that is too general or abstract, and they make the mistake of blaming the technique — narration — for the poor writing that results."3
If I'm understanding this right we're probably okay at showing in our writing but it's the telling that needs a bit more work. This is certainly true for me.
To help us LaPlante has an exercise to improve our storytelling technique using both showing and telling. I've found this very helpful.
Tell Me a Story
Goal: To practice the techniques of showing and telling, and to understand the artistic, as well as, technical differences between scene and narration. (my note: between showing and telling)
What to do:
1. If possible, find an audience and begin with oral storytelling: talk (briefly) about something you witnessed in the past week or month. (my note: your audience could be a friend or family member.)
2. Next, take fifteen minutes to write a pure narration (telling) version of the event in question.
3. Next, do a pure scene version. (my note: this is the showing version, for example, could be a dialogue scene)
4. Finally, write a version that is a combination of both scene and narration.4
Once you've had a chance to get to grips with this — don't worry if it takes a while, no one expects you to get this right straight out of the park — try and write something starting with this week's photograph of the covered car, a story that uses both showing and telling.
The balance you find between showing and telling (scene and narration) will help you find your writing voice, the style that makes your stories feel tangible and unique.
Have fun!
p.205 Some Basic Definitions - The Making of a Story by Alice LaPlante
p.205 Some Basic Definitions - The Making of a Story by Alice LaPlante
p.216 Good Intentions, Bad Advice - The Making of a Story by Alice LaPlante
p.224 Exercise 1: Tell Me a Story - The Making of a Story by Alice LaPlante